FECKIN' FRANCH TOAST: The Recipe

Don't lie, you wish your breakfast looked like this.  

Today, I'll show you how to make not only French toast, but feckin French toast.

You know it's gotta be good if I named the blog after it.

Well, okay... it's a quote from The 40-Year-Old Virgin but who's keeping track?

Here's what you need: bread (I used plain ol' sliced wheat, but the thicker the bread, the better the FFT.), egg (one or two, depending on how much you want to make), milk, vanilla, cinnamon, allspice, and butter.  Eventually, I threw in some crushed cereal and wheat germ, but that's optional.

First, whisk the milk and egg together in a bowl. I'd say about 1/4 to 1/3 cup of milk to each egg.

Remember how I told you to buy some egg whites, you little bastards? Well, if you didn't, you're screwed if your milk to egg ratio is off.  You have to use a whole new egg to balance it out.  But for the enlightened souls who followed my solemn word, just add some egg whites if your "dip" is too milky.

I added about 2 teaspoons of vanilla.  There's really no right or wrong amount, just do what you feel. I like a lot of vanilla.

Then give the mixture a good shake of cinnamon and an almost as big'a shake of allspice. Whisk 'er up.

Ooooooooh, bubbly. And so well-combined! How do I do it, you ask?  Well, I am a FFT genius.

Melt cho buttah in a skillet over, ehh, medium high or so.

Here is the point where I strayed from the plan. I thought "hey! Let's dip it into some crushed up cereal and wheat germ to make the outside crispy!"  I had corn-flaked French toast at a hotel once.  But this is SO much better, this is Honey-Bunches-of-Oats-ed and wheat germ-ed FECKIN FRANCH toast.  Just mash that shit up and put it into a bowl.  Or a plate. Don't matter none to meeeee.

I neglected to get good dipping and coating shots.  The logistics of it were mind-boggling...the egg, the milk, the camera lens...AHH!  So, take each slice and bread and dip it flat-side down into the egg and milk mixture. Coat both sides. I'm sure you've done this before...  Then do the same in the smooshed-cereal.  Then plop the bread into the sizzling HOT pond of melted butter in your skillet.  Make sure the butter is totally melted and HOT HOT HOT when you put the bread in, or else you risk the chance of sogginess.  If you're especially soggy-phobic, you can try toasting the bread before the dipping pro-cess.

I ended up making one slice of wheat bread, then went CRAZY with a French loaf that was on the counter.  Then I peeled myself an immunity-boosting grapefruit because I work with snotty slobbery virally-infected children.  And had a delish cup'a'joe.

MMMMM...what a breakfast.