When I took these into my fiction class, the professor told me he would get in trouble for allowing them in class.
When I asked Andy what he wanted for dessert for his birthday, there was no hesitation. "Bourb-sesh brownies, braaaahhhhhh," he answered.
Inspired by the Bourbon Cake at Club Soda in Fort Wayne, Indiana, and making the recipe up as I went sort-of-but-not-really following the Baker's chocolate recipe, these little babies were created.
Caramel Bourbon Brownies
for those who are sick of innocuous indulgences
Ingredients: BOURBON WHISKEY, unsweetened baking chocolate, eggs, butter, brown sugar, white sugar, flour, vanilla
First, over medium-heat, in a pan or a pot or a wok or whateverrrr you desire, melt two sticks of butter (none of that margarine bullshit!), 4 squares of Baker's chocolate (unsweetened...what are we, Girl Scouts?), 1/2 c. whiskey (Zach and Andy both insist on Maker's Mark, but I'm too poor for that), and 2 teaspoons of vanilla
It'll get all warm and bubbley, like this!
When this is melted, add 1 to 1 1/2 cups of sugar. If you accidentally bought sweetened Baker's chocolate, just decrease the sugar to 3/4 c. or so. Whisk the sugar slowly, oh, OH, so sensually, until it is dissolved. Remove the pan from the heat.
Into the mixture, crack 3 eggs, yolks and all. This ain't no South Beach, bitch. Stir them until combined. If you have an electric mixer, break it out. This little babies are tough to combine. If you don't have one, use a whisk like me and BEAT IT Michael Jackson-style.
Finally, add one cup of flour into the mix.
Break out God's gift to (wo)mankind, butter, and slather it into your cake pan. Or whatever you're using. Once, I made this in a muffin pan. Two little individual delicious chocolate masterpieces. I fed one to Zach. Then he proposed...no joke. This recipe is JUST that powerful.
Doesn't this remind you of the opening credits to the original Willy Wonka movie?! God, it makes me drool like a Bloodhound just looking at it. Anyway...
Pour the batter into the pan you made greasier than a strip club in Gary, Indiana.
DON'T RINSE YOUR PAN. You'll learn to like it dirty. Like a strip club in Gary, Indiana, perhaps?
Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes or so. It should be soft, almost meringue-y, you know? Like a key lime pie on top. Anyway, make sure you don't over-bake. Over-baking will give you the spins, and you'll probably eat this whole thing in one sitting, if you catch my drift, mon. When a toothpick is inserted, it shouldn't come out totally goopy, but not totally dry either. (I'll spare you the sexual, anatomical innuendo.)
The Caramel Sauce
Okay, so I didn't get to take any pictures of this because I was in the middle of making Andy's birthday dinner, which consisted of filet mignon, roasted asparagus, a salad, bread, garlic white-cheddar mashed potatoes. And this. For like seven people. So, I was a little bit overwhelmed and didn't take pictures of the caramel-making process. I trust you to be able to handle it; it's not hard.
While the brownies are in the oven, using the same sauce pan as before (with the delicious little chocolate particles), combine:
3/4 stick of God's gift to (wo)mankind...butter.
1 cup brown sugar (Not Beyonce Knowles, people.)
1/4 cup of bourbon (Or more. Or none at all, if you're overwhelmed... cough... pussy... cough.)
1 tablespoon heavy cream, if you got some on ya
When this is all melted together and cooled a little bit so it's not totally bubbling and burning, pour it over the top of the brownies (or cake, whatever) and watch it absorb and trickle and form a big gooey delicious sinful euphoric mess.
Try not to drool when you eat these. Such behavior is not very becoming. But I'm sure these brownies will make you be-coming all over the house in a minute!! I'm sorry... was that crossing the line?)
Enjoy, my boozey-brownie buddy!
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